PLANNING AHEAD

“He who fails to plan, plans to fail”

Either quoting from the Quran and/or the Bible a number of us remind ourselves and each other that God is the best of planners. However, most of us often forget or neglect the importance of planning in our own lives.
Prophet Muhammad, (peace and blessings be upon him) or Jesus Christ (peace and blessings be upon him) were master planners in their life time, each of them making well-thought out decisions about their personal life as well as the community they established.

We may have a general idea of what we want to accomplish in life and how to go about it (doing so). But most of the time, we coast along, hoping for the best, working hard but not necessarily in a focused manner. Planning helps us really hone in on what we want to accomplish (things) which, on the surface, seemed impossible.
For God, nothing is impossible, He values and rewards not just hard work, but focused planning as well. Getting to Heaven requires a plan as well, and it doesn’t just involve working hard, but focusing on those things that will help us attains the greatest of all goals.
Very soon, we shall usher in the New Year 2010, let us put down a careful plan whether that’s in a notebook, a page in our calendars, a file in our computers, on a PDA, or a rough plan for the next 12 months.

If you’ve never done this before, it may seem odd at first. But just start the process and see where it takes you. You’ll be surprised at the results!
God is indeed the best of planners

7 REASONS WHY WE MUST PLAN FOR THE COMING YEAR
This day each year is like a quick turn of the page, each month, almost like a blur. This is why planning is so important. Every second, every minute, is so important; we cannot afford to loose it.
Whether it's wasting hours in front of the television set, consuming sitcoms and daytime soap operas, just "hanging out" with friends all too often, or putting off studying or a work project till the last minute, almost all of us are guilty of wasting our time.
In every January 1st, talks of resolutions, change, decisions, etc, spur us to take action and to plan ahead. You don't have to plan for the "new year" per se. Maybe you can just review some earlier ones to see if there is need for improvement or where an extra mile is required to achieve a set objective.
Whenever you decide to do this, here are seven reasons to convince you of the merits and importance of planning for the coming months:

1. To see where you are and where you want to go.
If our purpose in life is to live as God wants us to live or to achieve success in this world or be able to enter heaven, where do we stand at the moment? Are we living in a balanced manner as God would like us to, or is our wealth what we worship? Are we doing our acts of worship properly, regularly and sincerely?

How is our financial situation? When will we pay our dues? How much sacrifice did we give to the helpless or the needy in the past year?

These are just some of the questions we should ask ourselves at the end of a given year. They help us realize where we stand, and help us identify not only our mistakes, but where we need to go. Planning in advance helps us to do just that.

2. To see where you are in terms of your family.
You may have noticed that in the last year, you and your family have grown apart. Or your relationship with your spouse and kids is deteriorating.
Once you've identified this problem, planning in advance can help you develop some solutions. For instance, if you've grown apart, you can plan to attend a one-week family camp in another part of the country. Or you can plan a trip somewhere together. By planning in advance, you can get everyone in on it and even the buildup to the journey can be a source of family excitement.

If the relationship with your spouse and kids is not in good shape, maybe you can start calling a family meeting (maybe the first ever) to openly discuss the situation.

3. To identify your career/educational goals
Maybe you've always talked about making the career switch to a more decent source of income. Or you've always talked about going back to school, now that you've gotten money to do so, you're ready, but you haven't planned for it.
Career or educational changes cannot be done in a slapdash manner. They require months of careful planning. These plans need to be discussed with the family, since they often impact family members (especially if the person making the career choice or educational switch is a parent).

Planning in January, when a new semester begins, for September, when the next school year begins, can help you assess what needs to be done beforehand to get into a new program, for instance.
Planning months in advance can help you seek the right job, and give enough time to inform your boss so that the company can find a replacement, for example.

4. By planning in advance, you can plan for emergencies.
Looking at the year ahead in advance and keeping your goals in mind can help you plan for emergencies. Maybe you've heard from the news line that your company is going in a loss, and you want to make a change before you loose your job, or maybe your father at home is very sick, and you have a feeling you will need to see him for possibly the last time.
By planning in advance you can collect the necessary funds to keep the family going in case of job loss, or to fly home instead of waiting until the last minute for something to happen.

5. To identify what you need to achieve your goals.
Have you realized that your knowledge of life is very weak after assessing the last year and realizing how many things you did without knowing the Biblical or Quran injunction on the issue? Do you understand your company or organization’s policy on the issue?
Have you realized how many times you submitted work projects or school assignment later than deadline because of your disorganization? Have you realized how many times
your kids missed their weekend school classes because they got up late on Saturday morning?
By planning ahead, you can identify and develop some concrete solutions to implement. For instance, for gaining more knowledge, maybe you checked out on some websites and found a one-month religious or educational program taking place in a country.
By planning ahead, you can save enough money, get a good price on transportation, make arrangements with the family, and attend the program without the hassles of last minute preparation.
If your work projects or school assignments are always being sent in late, maybe you can look up some time management courses or seminars to attend so you can identify and implement tips that can help you curb procrastination and disorganization.
If the kids are regularly missing weekend school, setting a proper Friday night sleep schedule and Saturday morning routine in advance can give you and the kids time to get used to it and have them attending their classes weekly.

6. You can plan mundane activities
Whether it's the car getting checked, the kids' doctor and dentist appointments or a big house clean up, planning in advance can help you sit down with the family or the concerned individual and discuss when it is most convenient for these types of necessary checkups and activities.
Don't wait for the muffler to fall off the car, the kids to complain of toothaches, a major sickness, or a house that's falling apart to do what's needed. Plan in advance so you can save time, money and energy. You'll know what materials you'll need and will have a better opportunity to get everyone or the given individuals involved in these tasks so they get done quickly, efficiently and with cooperation.

7. Wake up everyday with a purpose
Planning for the year, the month and the day in advance helps you not only accomplish your goals. It's also a way to maximize your energy and time. Some of us may wake up knowing we should be doing something today, but don't have it all worked out beforehand. Our days then simply become less productive and a series of events we are reacting to, instead of time spent aiming for our higher purpose.

PLAN NOW FOR THE NEW YEAR 2010
A short guide for your use
The month of January brings with it talk of resolutions and looking back on the past 12 months. Given that it's also the beginning of another New Year 2010, this is a great time to evaluate where we are, where we've been, and what we've got to change.
This is a short self-evaluation form that can guide us through the process.

A. YOUR EDUCATION
-Have you thanked God for what you know?
-Are you satisfied with your level of education?
-Are you satisfied with your children's level of education?
-Did you further your career by learning new information about your field?
-If you are a student, are you satisfied with your level of commitment to your studies?
-Did you learn anything new about your religious practice in the last year?

B. YOUR MONEY
-How did you earn your money? Are you satisfied with this?
-How did you spend the money? Are you satisfied with this?
-How many people have you brought up with your money?
-Do you seldom give fish or teach people to catch fish?

C. YOUR FAMILY
-How is your relationship with your immediate family?
-Are you in regular contact with relatives?
-Are you holding any grudges against your close ones?
-Are you a good role model to your family/ children?
-Do you ever think of been remembered for any legacy?
-Have you ever called your spouse or children to give them hope and share your affection by saying “I love you” one day?
-Did you know your children’s School with any of their class teacher or principal?
-Did you often organize a guidance and counseling session for your children to review or evaluate their academic performance and plan their future?
-Do you ever think of the need to start writing your Will now and reviewing it from time to time or you attach some inexcusable sentiments to that?

D. YOUR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
-Were you a good neighbor?
-Did you volunteer your time and money into any beneficial cause (i.e. the fight against violence, drugs, pornography, HIV/Aids etc.)?
-Do you obey your local Law or you are always in disagreement with the law?
-Did you find it necessary to encourage your family to respect your local law?
-Do you return back home from work early or lately?

E. YOUR CAREER
-Are you satisfied with your level of commitment to your career?
-Are you happy with your career?
-Do you need to change the direction of your career?
-Is your relationship with your co worker cordial?
-Are you a team player? In what way have you influence your team mate positively?
-Are you an analytical Thinker, a Socializer, a Relater or a Director?
-Do you belief in the “Platinum rule” that says “Treat people as they need/ want to be treated”? Do you know your color or that of your team players?

F. YOUR RELIGIOUS OBLIGATIONS
-Did you offer prayers daily or at will?
-Did you try to go for Friday/ daily prayers or Sunday/ Church service regularly?
-Have you taken you children or spouse to the Mosque or Church?
-Did you pay your dues in the Mosque or Church regularly?
-Did you belong to any religious group where you could play some vital role?
-Did I start saving to go for pilgrimage or perform other religious/ social obligations?
-Have you been engaging yourself in act that negates your religious practice?
-Do you educate your children on consequence of any action taken by them or you?
-If you answer no to any of these questions, is there any need for review this year?

These are some questions which I recently came up with. They may or may not apply to you. Please choose the ones that best apply to you, as only you know yourself better, after God who has the best knowledge of all His creators, as we are noting but pencils in the hand of God.

So ask yourself all the questions which you want to ask, all the right questions. And then do these three things for yourself now:
• Thank God for everything good you have been able to do
• Seek God's forgiveness with divine guidance/ protection on all your shortcomings
• Take a pen and paper to plan for a better life in the New Year and years ahead.

Lastly pray for the author and send to the person who you love and want to succeed.

Guess who's back

Hmm...Where do I begin? I guess I can start by asking for forgiveness...I don't know if forgiveness is the right word to use here but I will use it anyways. Forgive me for my long absence from blog ville. I had to take time off to concentrate on the most important factor in the phase of my life- School and boy o boy, it was hectic, yet different. I'm finally coming to the end of the semester,1 exam on Friday and it's all over and its time to sing the Christmas carol, share the moment with friends and envision or simulate seating with my family, laughing, eating and telling stories. Well, I guess that will only remain in my fantasy but forever, you are in my heart and we will share many Christmases together. Love you all, members of the Okegbemiro family.

BTW...I went to see a ballet 2 Sunday's ago and it was an exhilarating experience, one I would like to do again and thank you for coming with me, you know who you are. Also, one of the few people whose ways and works inspire me, Komi Olaf, had his 2nd Art Exhibit, which he tagged, " ANGELS OF MUSIC". It was art par excellence and people came out in numbers to feed their eyes. One painting that was not up though was that of SEUN FRANK LUCAS,as noticed by Jimi Bolu and Dayo aka D1. Generally, it was a nice Sunday.

Now, I look forward to 2010. Personally, it is a very important year for me. Time to execute the lessons from my struggles and ensure they help in "realizing my destiny and fulfilling my potential."

2010: REALIZING DESTINY, FULFILLING POTENTIAL

No stars by Darey( Beautiful piece)

No stars in the sky
Makes me wonder why
I’m still gazing...
I’ve done all I know to do
And there’s still no sign of you
Are you coming soon?
Now I’m staring out the window
But the waiting’s just begun
And all I see is shadows
Even though I see the sun

You took away my sunshine
And I want it back
You took my star from the sky
And I want it back
You took away my sunshine
And I want it back
You can only give it to me
When you come back home… home… home

There’s a picture on my chair
Like you’re sitting there
Can I sit with you?
I can hear you when you call
Like you never left at all
Should I answer you?
I’m still staring out the window
Wishing you’d be passing by
But all I see is shadows
As the memories pass me by

You could only give it to me…

No stars in the sky
Makes me wonder why
I’m still gazing...

My dream

Like a midsummer day, the sun shone
One of those days you wish you had a clone
A clone to go around and increase your chances
Chances of meeting that one beautiful one
The damsel who would make every night the beginning of a new day
I set out to check on the clay I had molded yesterday
Went down on my knees to touch it and see if its strong now
A beach ball came across and struck my head...
as I looked up to see where it came from
The sun casts its glow in my eyes
like the scale in Saul's eyes
My sight was hindered, but not enough for me to know that an exciting figure was approaching me
The closer the figure approached me, the better my sight.
Emancipating in my view was the lady I had dreamed about for nights now
She was beautiful, wonderfully and skillfully crafted
Skin toned like the colour of the sand on which she walked
Her walk was like that of a goddess, gently moving
Gracious was the way she carried herself
Delirious was the way I felt
She would come close
close enough I could see all of her
not in anyway deterred by the rays of the sun
Im thinking,"With her, I will never mourn"
She looks me straight in the eyes
I knew she knows no lies
Flawless were her thighs
Oh, they were such a beautiful sight
With her right hand, she held my jaw
raised my face as if to make me get up
Sadly I could not rise to her
Numb my feet had become
Nimble I wish my fingers would be
So I could stroke the fullness of her hair
the caress the smoothness of her skin
the curves of her waist
the parabola of her behind.
In the lost space of my mind,
a voice began to set in the distance
Gentle the voice, soothing it was
I could hear her say,
"Sorry about the ball"
In silence, I said," I know"
Then she said," I meant to throw a stone at your head"

To be continued....

Womanhood

What is gender superiority? Should I exist? Do women have to fight for equality( in some extreme case by some people, to be superior)? Why cant men and women share their advantages and disadvantages for the good of mankind? By how much is our inner consciousness in line with patriarchy? I have always known the good of women but never has this light been shed on this. We, both men and women, need women for our every existence and survival. It has become the most simple rule of survival today, just like biology will tell you basic survival instinct: Survival of the fittest. Who is the fittest?
A woman provides essentials and attempts to resolving problems.She is psychologically satisfying. Setbacks ensues from the mismanagement of her gifts and failing to cultivate the mother within. Deeply rooted in Chinua Achebe's novel, " THINGS FALL APART", (which I am acting a play on. Oct 2nd at Kailash Mital Theatre, 6PM), I have come to realize something. WE NEED WOMEN MORE THAN WE ACT LIKE WE DO.
Okonkwo, both macho and sexist, is permanently in a state of denial about his feminine side, even as he unconsciously searches for his alien mother. Substituting his favourite daughter for her as a palliative, he finally thrives when he finds the maternal source: when circumstances force him to live with his mother's relations. Remember these lines from the book or except to hear it in the forthcoming play: " A man belongs to his fatherland when things are good and life is sweet. But when there is sorrow and unhappiness, he finds solace or refuge in his motherland. Your mother is there to protect you". Why is it that when a child gets beaten by his father, he runs to his mother's arms? Why? Once Okonkwo abandons his motherland and journeys back to his fatherland, his life takes a turn for the worse, ending his life tragically, after been confronted with the harsh face of colonialism, unprotected by the maternal principles. I believe that like Okonkwo, most men, no matter how macho we appear to be, are unconsciously waiting for women to release them from the trap of fatherland, the suicidal trappings holding them captive in their father's house. Even the legendary tortoise, in dire straits, always finds a way out of his dilemma. The men have turned turtle, they need the maternal principle to help to turn them back up, to reinstate them, so that all can act concertedly for the progress of mankind. Now even for those who believe in "juju" or as some will call it, "african magic", it reflects the ethics of dependency-the belief that the all-powerful mother, with her supernatural juju, will make everything all right. This cannot more be echoed than when I cast a female for Okagbue in the upcoming play, or the naming of Ezeani, the goddess of the soil in the book. How coincidental. To therefore accomplish this feat, women need extra empowerment. Where best does this empowerment come from, if not from men who run to them in times of weakness? Even more sadly for the majority is that women rarely question female self-effacement, accepting the idea that men should be supported for the commonweal. The lesson that needs to be passed on is that a strong community is born only when support is mutual, and strong women are not chased to the periphery. I think in truth, men fear the secret ways women manage to survive in spite of great hardships. This is a gift they are naturally endowed with and we all must come to realize this. Women must come to appreciate this and men must understand this, knowing well that in times of good, remember to see the good in a woman so you can run into her bossom when times are bad. Even in literary terms, or with the present day, the most hardcore male or bonafide player, who is untouched by the inner feelings of emotions from a female ( otherwise too), will always have his masculinity dampened by what most call "woman like nature". Yes, I know what I am saying. Moments of teardrops, flashes of romantic episodes, inklings of a females influence on your being. We all must learn to see the light cast by womanhood. We all must love women for all they are, for even in the darkest moments, they are capable of good. It is their most basic instinct.


Inspiration from the following:
AFRICAN WOMAN PALAVA by Ogunyemi Chikwenye
THINGS FALL APART by Chinua Achebe
A poster at the CUSA office: A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN HER STUDENT UNION