Open Letter to my mama

Dear Mother,
I am writing this letter to express my undoubted and unquestionable appreciation to you for being my mother. For a conscious space of time, you decided to have a child. For 9 months, you carried me inside you, therefore a became a part of you, causing you discomfort on the inside, yet joy in your heart. Joy for what you pray to God I will become.Joy for you have brought a blessing to the world.For years you put me on your back, breastfed me, showered me and nurtured me.
A young strong man I have become. I have given you a ray of hope for the success you imagined. Yet, in many ways I have failed you. Failure to be as honest to you as a child should to his mother. Failure to make you my best friend. Failure to heed all your instructions. Failure to not express all the traits you taught me, selective of only what I thought was needed. I heeded to the yearnings of my youthful exuberance and failed you in ways I would never have thought I would.Failure for not being the genius 'the professor' you used to know.
I am using this day to say I am sorry for these failures. Sorry for the trouble I have caused you. Either with daddy, or the time I was deboarded from boarding school or my elementary school flings and my more recent ordeals.Sorry for I haven't been the best son I could.
Mother,I am writing this letter to say I love you from the very bottom of my heart and make a solemn vow today to make every possible attempt at righting my wrongs, dotting my i's and crossing my t's. A vow to be the 'Telemi' you used to know.
Thank you for being my mother and I will forever love you and be indebted to you.

From your dear son,
Alade

Teenage Love affair

At the end of my last year as a teenager, I was just experiencing my very first teenage love affair. With an inner vow, first girl, first love, would mean marriage. In love and life, things do not always work out the way you want them to even when you work so hard at them. A young man with so much confidence, ready to take on the world, taking care of his academics, socially accepted, and wouldn't shy away from meeting a young lady. Then, an emerald would come along, crafted not as the conventional blinding figure on the love-lust mountain, but prised in inner beauty clouded by smugs of 'i dnt care' and as life would have it, you find ur 'supposed soul mate' and very first teenage love affair. The script would say you are ready, ready to let go of the ladies and go for the lady, let go of ur flirtatious self and have her like you would want her to have you, for as long as you both desire to be together...bla bla bla...I am going to stop there...I would actually write a book on this...Should have a lot to write about.
For now, does anyone remember their 1st teenage love affair? Are you still in the affair? If not, are you still in touch? Can you get back together if a chance provided itself?Do you feel as though you might not find love stronger than that?....
These are a few questions that have been spurred by that once young love that would have an impact on ur being, what future would be holding out for....
Just like I wish I had gone to a mixed sex high school system, or wished to have gone to high school prom, or wished I was a NERD, I wish to have my first teenage love affair again...Yes, I do. Do the things I did right well, learn from mistakes and do right my wrongs because there is no love as strong as your first teenage love affair( except ofcourse Agape, or long married life of peace that has experienced thin and thick). Let me hear about your first teenage affair, its impact on your being and
life.
Here is Alicia's account of her first teenage affair:

Can't wait to get home
Baby dial your number
Can you pick up the phone
'cause I wanna holla?
Daydreaming about you all day
In school can't concentrate
Want have your voice in my ear
'Til ma comes and says it's too late

'cause the lights are on outside
Wish there was somewhere to hide
'cause I just don't want to say goodbye
'cause you are my baby baby
Nothing really matters
I don't really care
What nobody tell me
I'm gonna be here
It's a matter of extreme importance
My first teenage love affair

Another secret meeting
On the 5th floor stair case
I'm gonna give you this letter
Of all the things I can't say
Want you to be my first, my last, my ending and beginning
I wrote your name in my book
You last name my first
I'm your Mrs.

Hey boy
You know I really like being with you right?
Just hanging out with you is fun
So maybe we can go to first base
Because I feel you
Second base
Want you to feel me too
Third base
Better pump the breaks
Well baby slow down
I gotta go home now
My baby baby
Nothing really matters
I don't really care
What nobody tell me
I'm gonna be here
It's a matter of extreme importance
My first teenage love affair

Only You

When I stop to think,that you wont be there to smile when I wink
I wont be there to see you dressed in all pink
when I blink and you're not there my hearts gonna sink
I cant sleep, cant eat, can't drink
When I think of you gone
A big part of my life's all torn
in pieces and Jesus, I must have mixed right for wrong
For you to come, I'll be twice as nice
I can't stand to pay the price c'mon
I'll do anything to see you come back to me
Don't leave me alone
I'm in need of a home and a girl I'm a live with happily
Together, matter of fact we be, like the fruit from an apple tree
So I'm 'a plead you to come back
Me and you is where the fun's at
We both know that, we love that
We've been there, we've done that
but we both still got a lot left to track c'mon

The Lover of my life
Please do not make me cry
The Lover of my life
Please never ever leave me alone
Please stay with me
Lover of my life

Girl you cannot do this to me
Your whole crew is in for me
They try to make u realize
We're both too simply too tight
They kind of know its smooth right
From a distance they know our love is like a boom mic
And I'd hate to loose my only date to choose
Even Gods creations are all made in twos
So I say we cruise into the way we're supposed to be
girl you know you've gotta flow with me
And so we be the greatest lovers around
We can make a new whole world together
And be loving it now
We can take our love straight to the top
Maintain the same game forever while were making it hot
So do not try to think of breaking up
'Cos I can make it up to you
With all the love I stuff for you
In the middle of my thugs and crew
I still plead for you to stay with me
'Cos Im in love with you,c'mon

I could stay a whole week
without you no sleep
I figured cos my thoughts go deep
Thinking about you
And bringing my heart to the state of mind
Where i know that I'm beginning to woo you
Where its my plea to get you right with me
And I'll wait for you to come cos you truly fit me
and stay together through the weather like Bob and Whitney
An then we shine like the rims of a silver Bentley
You know I never loved no other like you
To hug a mother might do
It will make me show my hearts broken in two
I'll give my life as a token for you
You might not know that I'm choked up
But men I'm still choking it through
You're my wife to be
And what you is, is what Id like to see
Come girl give your life to me
And I'm a fight for the right to be your only man
and if I gotta fight then I'll fight for free.

When I think about you leaving I find myself grieving
Though it seems deceiving I'm still believing girl you'll stay with me forever
And I'll remain humbly kneeling while your heart is healing
Tear drops revealing the way that I'm feeling girl please stay with me forever

Kini Big Deal ( What's the big deal?)

K, I just thought its been a while.Before I start, I have a room to sublet for the summer at 2833 Baycrest Drive, Ottawa ON. Contact me through email-dazedfaze2000@hotmail.com or Facebook for details. Someone once said,"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down". I have made in life, numerous mistakes, many that can be called folly but I have chosen this day to wrong my rights...I have wronged a woman I loved and cherish dearly in many ways but one.I am sincerely sorry and apologetic, though I know no amount of these will fix my failings...I have hurt myself, beyond belief and most importantly, I lost the only one who sincerely truthfully loved, cherished and adored me, all because of my pride, ego, selfish, flirtatious being. Being going for counsellings for a couple of weeks now, and if there is one thing I have learned, it is to forgive myself.
A lot has happened to make me question who exactly a friend is.Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behaviour, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviours. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.
Now knowing this, I can say I have very few friends, which is a good thing, because I thought I had none. I live life with a principle, the only thing I finally think I got right in all of my many life principles: Never except good from people all the time, when people acted in ways you wouldn't "normally" expect them to, I am not surprised, I feel as though that is how they are suppose to act. When they are good, I am appreciative of this and never forget it. I do not expect people to be nice, I expect acts of wickedness, so when I see good, I give such people utter respect and honour, but hey, you cares what you think.
I will do all I can to, not possibly turn around situations I have wronged,but to help be launchpad for a new start.
Ego is something I have walked around with for most of my life. I have been made conscious of it, but I acted like it wasn't there. I have lost all of it now, so I can say to you all, there is nothing you can do to down me anymore. I will walk around, in the middle of your preying eyes, lashing tongues, gnashing teeth, and clawing fingers.
I have to take summer school. I do not know where the finances will come from but it will be done. NSBE introduced a program called the "4.0 GPA" and I will be participating in this from this summer and I will show that I can be competent academically once again.
This is a fresh new start, a new beginning, new awakening. It is one I am looking forward to with new aplomb.
Special mention to a couple of people who have been of great help in recent times...Dj EAI, Michael Samuel, A-town, Don 1, Lumi Gbagbe, Nosa, Obi, Larry Ola, Osasu, Piriye and anyone else I forgot to mention. Your help will never be forgotten and you can be sure to be rewarded by the one has rewards in its multitude.

Paroles

The weekend frenzy is finally over so I thought it best to come update you on recent happenings. I have been trying to work on a new template for this blog, designed by myself for your viewing pleasure.I hope I can do it as soon as possible, as I am not a professional and it requires a lot on my part, which I am not sure if school work will permit. Talking about school, I finally had my midterm on Friday and it was as bad as I faired, well at least until the grades are out. Somewhere between my last post:"The craze" and this midterm, I heard a guy, Niklesh sold 2 v.i.p tickets to N.E.P.A, after the party was well in the history books. He was able to convince the guy that the party was moved till this weekend. It was a big laugh for me and my buddies(lol) all that day. Later, rumour circulated it was just a joke. I hope so.
Had a big nite out last nite. It was at the New Bayou, a new club where I have made good friends with the management and you can never know what can happen next. I hosted the Central African Student Association(C.A.S.A)'s fund raising initiative tagged,"Unforgettable African Fest", live with Dj's E.A.I and chiggzy. It was indeed a fun nite. There wasn't a lot of people there, but I had enough fun with all those out there. I was though fazed by a moment of craze by the most unlikely person, but I will give God all the glory for the patience he continues to give me. One can only "binu binu", as God will not let me "bo si konga".
Saturday has come and it started on a sad note, not sad, but unwanted note. Main reason was cuz Ella was outta town for the weekend but I think come the end of the weekend I survived. The night I had been most anticipating came though finally, the Back 2 Origin, Nigerian Banquet organized by NSA UOttawa @ UOttawa. It was a well attended show and I personally say a big thank you to all those who came out and ofcourse,all those who thought I did an exceptional job at emceeing the show. I was alongside my main man, Dj E.A.I and we brought down the house(well, so people told us). I now though have to look forward to Eldee, the DON's live concert next week and pray to God to keep me till then and beyond and also make it a massive blowout.
Peace.Love you, P.